Oh, Nicaragua

The mission trip to Nicaragua was amazing.

Exhausting.

Exhilarating.

Energizing.

Our first night at the camp, we had a time of worship, and as we sat there singing I looked over in the corner of the sanctuary to where I had been last year:

It had been late at night, and someone was praying over me - - 

speaking words of worth, beauty and identity into my life 

and I was sobbing on the floor 

unable to accept. 

Desperately wanting to, 

but choosing instead to believe the lies.

Just.

Like.

Always.

But this year as I sat in the room and looked at my life, it was different.

This year has been a year of finding freedom.
Finding victory over lies.
Choosing each new day to accept the truth of what Jesus says about me.
Walking in my identity of who I am in Him.

So that night I threw my hands up in worship.

And then quietly reminded myself that the same God who has brought all these beautiful changes in my heart and thought process, is the same God who knows what my next chapter will hold.

And some of my fear for the future started to dissipate.

During our three days in Tipitapa, I massaged over 80 people... 

Our first morning I told the team, "No kids." 

Massages solely for adults.

And then.

Her Dad begged me. 

"She has pain in every joint."

She was too tiny for my chair, so I got down on the ground and drew her onto my lap.

She nestled in, and each time I'd say

"Does it hurt here?"

She'd look at me with her huge, pain-filled brown eyes and nod her head.

We sat.

And I massaged. 

And prayed.

And loved.

And felt my heart break for the things that break His heart.

There were 31 people on our team.

These are the ones representing Anonos.

My heart exploded just a bit at the honor of being part of this picture.