Rainy Memories

It's ridiculously hot. And it's dry. It seems that the hills surrounding Los Anonos catch on fire every other day. The grass is brown, and everything is shriveling up. 

But then, this afternoon - a surprise rain storm!

Bringing life to the earth and refreshment to the deepest part of my soul.

(Catchin' raindrops)

One of my all-time favorite scents is the first sixty seconds after it begins to rain, on a scorching hot day.

So this afternoon I lay on my stomach in front of our open sliding glass door, looking out over the balcony. I'd close my eyes for a minute, just so I could listen closely to the rain falling. But then I'd have to open my eyes, because I was craving the sight of the drops hitting the tile. And the rain-on-hot-earth smell... it's extra pungent in Costa Rica, especially during the dry season.

Most of my memories are attached to smells, so as I lay there, my mind flew back to summer nights last July.

I was here in Los Anonos, but only short-term. And it was a wonderfully confusing and exciting time in my head and my heart. I spent so much of the trip trying to open my heart to the fact that in two months, everything I was experiencing would be my "new normal."

And though I tried to push them down, there were tiny seedlings of expectations growing in my head... Dreams of what the coming year in Costa Rica would entail. Regarding God. People. Situations.

And as I walked through these memories today, it was little painful, because none of those dreams are coming true. 

But in the midst of that momentary pain, I knew this fact: 

In July, I did not know Jesus like I do now. 

And the depth of relationship that we have now... is an unbelievable trade-off for the broken dreams of my July-self.